Saturday, 23 July 2011

Choosing between your friends and your lover

A lot of relationship have reached this dilemma. Lover means a guy or girl’s girlfriend or boyfriend.

Dilemma #1 : When you hang out too much with your friends, your lover gets jealous and demands more time from you. Or when you don't hang out much with your friends, your friends may think that your lover is taking you away from them.

Dilemma #2 : If your friend is of the opposite sex, your lover becomes extremely jealous and may become paranoid that your friend is trying to take you away from him or her.


Dilemma #3 : There may come a time when your love will pop out the question "So, who will it be? It’s either me or them!"


You should never have to choose between your friends and your lover. You shouldn't have to. But there may come a time when you do. When you are in a relationship with someone, some of your social circles become different. The dynamics of your friendships may also change.

Some choose friends over lover because of the years they spent together and the challenges they’ve gone through side by side. And some choose lover over friends, because of their commitment and of course to avoid conflict. Although guys don't choose their friends over their girlfriend all of the time, there are particular circumstances when they may choose to do so. These circumstances relate to both the age of the guy and the age of the relationship. When guys are very young and are in the experimental stage of dating, they are likely to see their relationship with girlfriend as transient or temporary, while their friendships are viewed as being long-term. When this is the case guys are far more likely to pick their friends over their girlfriend.

If the relationship becomes more serious, then a guy is more likely to either give his girlfriend equal consideration to his friends, or even to choose her above his friends at times, in order to keep the relationship going. Guys soon become aware, in a serious relationship, most women don't want to be second best.

Sometimes, you will be confronted with a situation where some of your friends disapprove of or dislike your lover. On the other side, your lover also dislike some of your friends. When such differences in taste and opinion occur, you can be sure that changes will follow. In this case, you have to be a mediator between your friends and your lover. Otherwise, you may be forced to decide whether to keep your lover, or a friend. If you don’t make the choice there is going to be constant conflict in the air and a stressful atmosphere for you and the other folks involved. This may seem like an almost impossible decision to make. After all, perhaps your friendship has been a long and true one, and your lover feels to be 'the one' to you with whom you wish to spend the rest of your life.

We all know that love relationships come and go, and so does friendship. But what if no matter how hard you try and fight for both, you still had to choose one?

All guys need friends and it isn't healthy for them to rely on their girlfriend all the time. A wise man learns that both girlfriend and other friends are all important in his life, and attempts to keep his social and private life balanced without upsetting anyone else. If you can see no other way than to make a choice then you need to assess which, out of the two relationships, mean the most to you. You need to ask yourself which of the two people you can really picture yourself enjoying being with long into the future, rather than just in the present time. Although it’s tough, but an answer will come to you.

The best way for any guy to behave is with honesty and respect for all of his relationships, whether friends, family, associates or girlfriend. This way, he will never have to feel as if he is choosing one person over another.

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

My Graduation Notes


16 July 2011, today, I finally graduated from Bina Nusantara University. 3,5 years, a very short time yet so many memories inside. Tears stung on my eyes as I realized that today I am gonna graduate. I will no longer be an undergraduate student who is rushing to catch the class. No more assignments from lecturer. No more exams. But I will really miss the noisy of the class, the excitement when lecturer was unable to attend the class. I recall every moment I walk around the campus building and up and down the halls of classroom, I realized that I really miss those moments. I never thought I would miss that building.

Somehow, everything that I complained about these past four years (the lecturers, the classrooms, etc) seems like nothing more than a nostalgia memory. The 4 years (3,5 years exactly) I spent at Bina Nusantara University was really amazing. I will never forget my time here at this university and the memories I have surrounding this campus.

I filled this graduation day with multi emotions. Happy yet sad. Excited yet nervous. As this day may be the last day we gather with our friends and lecturers (although there will be a reunion party some day). The feeling seeps in and I really wish today never ends. Another happy effect of graduation day is because of our lecturers, who keep smiling at us unlike their routine days. Smiles spread on every face, they tell us so lovingly that they had a great time even though it's not completely true :p hahaha.. And then we realize that they are so flexible and lovable. This beautiful day comes to an end with hugs and promises to keep in touch. Wishes for a good life and luck flies in every corner. Well, I dislike farewell.

For my alma mater, Bina Nusantara University and the lecturers :
Nothing I can say except thank you. Thank you for the education. I am very thankful for your support during the important academic years of my life. I am also thank you for inspiring and guiding me in times of difficulties. I am proud to be a Binusian.

For all of my friends :
Congratulation! We are graduating and we know our lives will be different. We are going out into the world, with our goals and dreams to pursue. But one thing will never ever change. As we go on our separate ways, the friends we’ve made in school will be our friends forever. The special ties we’ve made, these bonds will never be broken. This friendship means a lot to me and it will never end. This is the time for us to spread our wings, we’ll do great things. We’ll overcome whatever life hands us. Use what we’ve learned from Bina Nusantara University for our success. We’ll bloom wherever our journey lands us. I would like to thank all of you for your help during my study here and I’m sorry for all the mistakes I’ve ever done. I wish the very best future for all of us. I love all of you, I really do :-) Everything was a blessing for me and I will never forget you guys. I hope to see you guys soon.

I wanna share some of the photos taken that day :

Me in pink kebaya

Me and my boyfriend. We finally graduated, dear. It’s time to work hard for our future ♥

Mom, me, younger brother and younger sister. Thank you mommy for your support both material and non-material. For my younger brother, it’s your turn to study hard and get the summa cum laude (you said you want it, right? :p)

Wieny, Me and Vina. Hey, we finally made it. I will not forget the day we had to get up very early, took the train and went to omni hospital alam sutera for our internship and got so many stresses back home. When I think of it now, somehow I miss those days. It was how we struggled in order to finish our thesis. Haha..

Tie, Wieny, Emil, Me and Vina. When can we gather again, all, five of us? I miss you guys, a lot.