Friday, 31 August 2012

Love Isn't Always In the Form of a Flower

Last night, my boyfriend told me a story, a very touching story. It was about a husband and wife. He said that he read this story in one of our friend's facebook wall. The story is really nice and I would like to share it with all of you, thus I looked into my friend's facebook timeline and translate this story into english. I don't know where did this story originally from, she didn't specify who the author is. The story is a bit long, but trust me, it's really a very good story. The title of the story is something like "Love is not always in the form of a flower". Here the story goes:
My husband is an engineer. I love his natural expressions and I love that warm feeling that appeared inside my heart, when I lean on his shoulders. Three years in a relationship, two years of marriage, I admit that I began to feel tired. My reasons to love him before, has turned out into something boring. I am a sentimental women and has a very sensitive feeling.
I craved for romantic moments like a child who craved for a candy. But I never get it all. My husband is far different from what I expected. His sensitivity is very low and his inability to create a romantic atmosphere in our marriage has destroyed all of my expectations for an "ideal love".
One day, I ventured myself to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce. "Why?", my husband asked in surprise. "I'm tired, you could never give me the love I want", I replied.  My husband was silent and pensive all evening in front of his computer. It looks like as if he's working on something, but it's not. My disappointment grew more and more. A man who could not even express his feeling, what else could I expect from him?
And finally my husband asked, "What can I do to change your mind?". I looked deep into his eyes and said gently, "I have a question, if you can find the answer in my feeling, I will change my mind. Let's say, I like a beautiful flower in the mountain cliff. We both know that if you climb the mountain, you will die. Question is, are you going to pick that flower for me?" He was pensive, and finally said, "I'll give you the answer tomorrow". I feel depressed when I heard his response. The next morning, he was not home and I found a piece of paper with handwriting beneath a glass of warm milk that says: "Honey, I would not pick the flower for you, but let me explain why."
The first sentence is breaking my heart, but I continue to read: "Your body always aches when your 'best friend' come every month. *the 'best friend' her husband saying is about the menstruation* And I had to give my hand to massage your feet which are aching. You like to be at home and I always worry you will be 'weird', then I have to buy something to entertain you at home or lend my tongue to tell you the funny things I've experienced. You always watch television too close, too close to the book when reading, and it's not good for your eye health. I have to keep my eyes so that when we get older, I can still help you cut your nail and pluck your grey hair."
"My hands will hold your hand, guiding you stroll down the beach, enjoying the morning sun and beautiful sand, telling the beautiful colors of flower are as pretty as your face. But dear, I will not pick the beautiful flower in the mountain cliff just to die. Because, I could not see the tears you cry over my death. Honey, I know there are many people who can love you more that I love you."
"So dear, if all that which has been given, my hands, my feet, my eyes are not enough for you, I could not stop you for finding another hands, feet and eyes that can make you happy."
My tears fell on the letter and blurred the ink, but I still keep on reading. "And now my dear, you have finished reading my answer. If you're satisfied with this answer, and still wants me to stay in this house, please open the door of our house, I am standing there waiting for your answer. If you're not satisfied, dear, let me go in to tidy up my stuff and I will not complicate your life. Trust me, my happiness is when you're happy."
I immediately ran to open the door and saw him standing at the door with a curious face while his hands were holding my favorite milk and bread. Oh, now I know, no one has ever loved me more than he loves me. That is love, when we feel the love has gradually disappeared from our heart because we feel that he can't give the love in the form we want, then love is actually present in another form that we never imagined before. Often we need to understand is to understand the manifestation of love from our spouse and not expect a particular form. Because love is not always in the form of a flower.
 -The End-
How do you feel? It is a nice story to tell, isn't it? Actually when I read/translated this story, I was so touched that I can't help my tears from flowing across my face. There are many ways to love someone and everybody do have a different way. I do agree with the author that we have to understand the manifestation of love from our spouse and not expect a particular form. Love is giving without expecting anything in return, right? Until last night, I used to ask him "why did he like that?", "Does he really love me?, "Am I important in his life?". Some unimportant questions actually. And he always asked me back, that after these years, why am I still doubt about something like that. Well, I don't know. Deep inside my heart, I do realize that he loves me very much. He does, really. Then why I still ask those stupid questions? It's actually not a "doubt", but simply because I love to hear the answer. XoXo. Unfortunately, he's not the type of guy who love to do sweet talks :( If I flashed back, what he has done for me in my daily life for these years, I don't know how to express this feeling. I feel so blessed that he's with me, there are so many things he did for me. He loves me in a different way, in a way that I never imagined before. He will sometimes punch my head, punish me if I wake up late, pinch me, etc. The weird thing is I do feel happy for every evil things he did to me. It's the way he loves me and I know that no one ever loved me like the way he does, that's why I love him so much and I can never let him go ♥

"Holding on and never letting go". It's our promise :)

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Two is Better than One

"uuh? Am I alone?"

Hey, seems like you're not alone. Somebody is coming :)

"Don't be afraid, I'm here with you, now and will always be"

"I love you. We will be together forever, right?"

"Yes, forever, my dear ♥"

Whoaa! I see a lot of improvements on myself. hahaha. My ami is more pretty now *wink! ;)* (pattern here). My little chicks didn't turn out exactly like the one in the pattern provided. I guessed everybody's ami will looks slightly different even they used the same pattern. Ami was made with love and care through every single stitch. So, all ami's are unique! =]

And by the way, do you agree with the statement of "two is better than one"? I'd better have someone who accompany me in this big big world rather than being alone. Yeah, an "accompany" may be a friend or sister or family. But what I'm talking here is a life partner, which is your boy/girlfriend who will be your husband/wife in the future. I feel so blessed to have my boyfriend in my life. It's always good to be with someone who love you and you love him too. Since we were together, I'm happier than I used to be, definitely. That's why I'm saying that two is better than one. Of course when two people being together, sometimes will have a small fight (or even a big one). Different opinions, argue, feel hurt, and so on. But all of it makes me grow. I'm not saying that fighting is good. If you keep quarrel everyday, it is also not a healthy relationship. As time goes by, somehow those fights help me understand him better. Recently I also realize that "understanding" has no end. Every new day, there's a new understanding to understand. And every single day I'm trying my best to understand and love him in a better way. It's just sometimes I messed up :( Sometimes I'm selfish and I act without considering of how he might react or what he thinks. And at the end, I deeply regret of my behavior. haha.. However, I will continuously learn how to be a great wife in the future =] Please be patient with me, my love ♥

Friday, 24 August 2012

My First Amigurumi Ever

I can't believe that I can actually did it! Wow, I'm surprised! XD Well, this is the first amigurumi that I made. Although it's not very good, but I'm quite satisfied since this is my first time. Next time, I will do better, I promise! :)

My first sight on the picture pattern was "this is a cute bear". *I got the pattern from an e-book, here* When I looked at it for the second times, why did it look like a puppy? So, that is a bear or a puppy? Unfortunately, mine turned out as a mice! :( .. I kept asking my boyfriend "does it look like a puppy, or a bear?" and he kept laughing at me and said that a mice will forever be a mice, it will never turn into a puppy. He's being so meanie T_T .. I guessed that I did not sew the body parts together neatly, so it turned out to be a mice. But when I think about it now, it's alright. It's cute, anyway =] Here, I'm gonna post some pictures of the "mice" and please tell me that he's cute *crossed fingers*

Look, he's sneaking around my laptop! He's peeping at me >.<

You can see that his eyes are too BIG and his mouth is weird :(
Left and right ears are in different size and shape.
And look at how I sew the ears and legs, it's all a messed.

If you see from this side, it's not that bad. Cute, isn't it? =]

The tail is not even in the center -_-||

He says, "I want to eat that mochi! :3 "hahaha..
There is a small hole in his ear, it should be no hole in magic circle :(

Conclusion is, at first I'm sad about how my first made amigurumi looks like. But now, I think I'm quite satisfied as I believe that practice makes perfect. So, I do not give up and will keep trying. Yosh! (\(^_^)/)

Monday, 13 August 2012

Falling in Love

Yes, I'm falling in love, with my yarn! I love every single color of my yarn =D As you may know, I'm just starting to learn crochet and I'm so addicted. I feel like, ummm.. I have the urge to make these yarn into something. Something adorable, something cute and lovely. My eyes become wild when I see the yarns. They have so many colors, I want to buy all of them! I want it! I want it! Sadly, Idul Fitri (eid al-fitr) is coming soon, everybody has already gone for holidays. The shops are closed and if I buy it online, the shipping also will be delayed :( So I have to wait until the holiday ends *wait patiently*.

BUT, luckily there are some leftover yarns from my knitting project before (P.S: I can knit but I can't crochet. I'm also not an expert in knitting, I only know few techniques). So, at least now I can learn to make a simple and easy amigurumi by using the yarn I have *happy n_n*.

 Lovely, aren't they? =]

When I knit, I easily get bored and I stopped at one point even when my project was not done yet *I have shawl, hat, etc which are halfway done*. But somehow, crochet is interesting. Maybe because what I learn to make is amigurumi, so I got excited of how the doll will look like. Aw! I'm excited! I will share with you once I managed to make an amigurumi. Stay tuned! =]

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Magic Circle

Recently, I've been so in love with amigurumi, thus I decided to learn how to make an amigurumi. Amigurumi is stuffed knitted/crocheted toy. It shows me a bunch of cuteness, so I can't resist myself not to love them >.< They are cute, really. If you won't believe me, try searching on google with the keyword "amigurumi". Tell me if you love them too ;)

Most amigurumi were made with crochet technique, means that I need to learn crocheting =] The interesting part is, this is my first time learning crochet. So right now, I'm trying something really new *excited*. Well, at first I kinda confuse, where should I begin? Luckily I have a very good friend, Lidya. I told her that I want to learn to make amigurumi, then she told me that she can make an amigurumi. She showed me a lot of her amigurumi pictures. Wow, I got a teacher! *happy* :D If you're interested in crochet, then please do not doubt. I really encourage any of you to pick up crochet as a new hobby, which is what I am doing now. Somehow, crochet can relax stresses and makes me feel calm, also keeps me in a good mood =]

In the first lesson *wow, sounds like she is opening a class :p*, she taught me how to do a chain (ch), single crochet (sc), double crochet (dc), slip stitch and magic circle. She said that a magic circle is (usually) the beginning of an amigurumi. So I learned. ha ha! It's not easy at the beginning, as a proverb says that every first step is always difficult. However, I manage to learn it, so now I can do the magic circle pretty good *shy* ('_'#). Here, I'm gonna share a tutorial of how to do a magic circle. Please be advised that I'm a beginner, so my work is not very tidy, but I think it's still acceptable. ha ha!

Prepare your yarn and hook

 Grab your yarn and wrap it around your fingers and cross it over, so it will look like an "X" (see the first picture). Then you take your hook and insert it underneath the front yarn and pull the working yarn through.

 Pull it through and after that you may drop off your fingers. It will form a circle, just like the picture above :) simple!

Hold the circle like the first picture or just hold it in your way, it's up to you as long as you feel comfortable. Then make a chain (ch) by wrapping the working yarn over the hook, pull it through the loop in the hook. And Ta-Da! There is a chain (see the third picture) ;-) Thing to remember is, this first chain does not count as the first stitch. Your first stitch is the first single crochet or double crochet or triple crochet or what your pattern told you.

 After you done the first chain, then you may continue with your pattern. Here, I will do single crochet because amigurumi mostly use single crochet ;) Insert your hook through the center of the circle (see the first picture), wrap the yarn over your hook and pull it through underneath the center of the circle. Now you will have 2 loops in your hook (see the third picture). Then yarn over your hook (see the fourth picture) and pull it through all of the 2 loops. There is your first single crochet =]

Now I will do the second single crochet the same way with the first single crochet. Insert the hook through the center of the circle, yarn over and pull it through underneath the circle, then yarn over again and pull it through all loops in the hook. There, I have 2 single crochet (see the fifth picture).

Continue doing the single crochet until it's enough. Result will look like the picture above :)

When you're ready, you may pull the tail (the hanging yarn). The circle will go smaller and you need to pull it 'till no hole in the center (see the second picture). It's important to pull it tightly, I'm sure that you don't want a hole in your amigurumi. It's the magic circle. We're done! Hooray! =D

 Continue to crochet and you will get this circle :)

Maybe Some of you found the pictures above are confusing or not clear, so I searched around youtube and found a very good video describing how to do a magic circle. Here it is =]

Whoaaa! Can't believe that I can actually write this tutorial. Although there may be many tutorial posts out there, but I do hope my tutorial have contribution in helping you learning the magic circle ;) Please feel free to share with me your experience in doing the magic circle (both beginner and expert), maybe if there's another way to do this. I would love to hear it! ♥