Sunday, 12 May 2013

My Mother is My Angel

There are Angels God puts on this earth, who care for us and guide us.
You can feel their love and gentleness, as they walk through life beside us.

They do great things for us every day, they whisper in our ears.
They even hold us in their hearts, when we are filled with all our fears.

They are always there to give a hug, and try to make us smile.
They treat us with respect and love, they treat us like their child.

God blessed me with an Angel, I’m proud to call my own.
She has been with me throughout my life, been with me as I’ve grown.

She has guided me the best she can, she has taught me like no other.
And I’m thankful I’m the lucky one, who get to call her, MOTHER.

-Kathleen J. Shields-

Mommy, on this very special day, as special as you are, I would like to wish you a very happy mother's day! Thank you mommy for everything you've done for me. I may not have always said it, but you are the most beloved. Your encouragements, support and love has helped me grow to what I am now. I am so thank you for brightening up my life, so grateful for your unconditional love. I realize that words are never enough to thank you for all that you do, but still, I want to say thank you. You are the angel that God sent for me. I love you, mommy =]

Saturday, 11 May 2013

Pastel LOVE

It has been a month and a week since I left my former job. My new job is very interesting and fun, I enjoy a lot! But I've been very busy since then, there are a lot of work to do. I don't even have time to stalk on twitter! And of course, I also have no time to crochet :( Nevertheless, I love my new job and I've learned many things which I never know before, especially things that related to people. It's fun, trust me! =]

In the middle of my busyness, I was thinking to crochet a new pouch for my Samsung Galaxy S3. But I never got the time. So many things are waiting to be done. And finally, today I manage to crochet a new "home" for my beloved S3 and I named it "Pastel LOVE" ♥ The colors are in pastel, they are beige, 2 shades of pink, and lilac.

It fits perfectly to my phone, I love it! Do you love it? =]

Sunday, 5 May 2013

49 Days Memorial of Daddy

Can't sleep. Keep thinking of my daddy and tears can't stop. Until this minute, I still can't accept the fact that daddy has left us, THAT WAY. A very harsh goodbye, without a word. It has been 49 days and yet I still shed tears whenever I think of daddy. I still can't let go. It is so true that people said that you won't know what's gone until it's gone.

I remember, daddy once took us to the swimming pool. It was several years ago before daddy and mommy divorced. He taught me how to swim and yet I still don't know how to swim! Oh, I'm so failed! I was afraid that I may drowned, but daddy kept saying that "it's okay, daddy will look out for you". And I kept replying "No, I will just sit here and play with the water".. So I always ended up sitting at the pool side and watched daddy swim. Daddy loved to swim freestyle. Right now, in my head, there is a very clear vision seeing how daddy swam freestyle. After swam for a few rounds, he would order fried rice and we ate together at the pool side. This memory of us in the swimming pool suddenly popped up to my head. It was one of the good moments with daddy.

Now if I rewind my memory, actually there are many good memories with daddy. I remember clearly how daddy looked at me and smiled. When he was alive in this world, I just couldn't think of these moments. What I remember was his bad behavior when he drunk and how he loved to gamble. The feeling I had for him was not hatred, it was anger. He promised us for a thousand times that he would changed and he wanted to turn over a new life, but he never did, even after the divorced. That's why I was so angry. Right now, none of these matters to me. Daddy left, in a way that I never imagined. What I regret the most is that I have not told him "daddy, I forgive you and I love you". I got angry with daddy, I wanted him to live a better life, be a better husband to my mommy, all of it were because I care. Deep in my heart, I know very clearly that I love and I do care for daddy. But I never told daddy, thus till the end maybe daddy didn't know that I love him. No, it's not my excuse to comfort myself. If I don't care, then I won't be angry. Angry also an emotion. Well, now I don't even have the chance to show daddy that I care about him. Is this the way how God punish me for not being a filial daughter? I can't forgive myself, it's like there is a very big and heavy stone in my heart that can't be put away. What am I supposed to do? Maybe most of you will say "it's already too late". Yes, I do realize that it's already too late. But is there anything I could do to make it better? I think there is not.. What's done can't be undone..