Friday, 26 June 2015

A Bride To Be

It's 3 months away 'till the big day comes. My friends often asked me "how's preparation?", "have you got everything fixed?", "how do you feel?", "are you excited?", yeah, that kind of questions. I think all brides to be are familiar with these questions =D

How's the preparation? Well, I have not prepared much even if it's only 3 months away.

Have you got everything fixed? No, not yet.

How do you feel? Lol, of course I'm happy, although so many things are not in place yet.

Are you excited? Sometimes I feel excited and can't wait for the day to come, but sometimes I just don't wanna think about it.

I am happy that I'm a bride to be, but sometimes there are things that I really don't know how to deal with or things that need some time until I really figure out how to deal with it. Marriage is not only about me and boyfriend, but also parents, grandparents, family, etc. They are all involved. At first, I thought this is our wedding, we were supposed to be the one who call the decisions. But reality wasn't like that, more like my dream vs reality -_-. There is bound to be an area or two, where all parties will have to compromise. They might have stronger opinions than us but remember that they love us and they're also excited for our big day. So I think it's alright, I'm cool with every decision made as long as it doesn't give negative effect to the wedding.

And our wedding will be held in our hometown, which means it's out of town for us, thus there are things that we can't handle alone. We need help from our parents and well, I'm kinda a perfectionist planner (this is one of my weakness I think, when I've planned everything and something caused it didn't work, then I would totally disappointed and frustrated), I tend to plan and get things done far before the day. But in this situation, I can't do anything. I can't keep asking my parents or his parents about these things or keep pushing them to get it done immediately, right? That's why until today, there are still many many things which are not in place yet. Let's say the invitation? the souvenir? the wedding car? the decoration? etc etc...

I can only do things that took place in Jakarta, such as the bridal, prewedding, groom suit, church related. As for the things related to the reception party in hometown, it's all a BLUR! We're gonna go back to hometown on Eid holiday (around mid of July), I really hope that we can get everything in place in that time. But I heard from my friend, she said that wedding in Batam (our hometown) is not as complicated as in Jakarta. Everything is being done near the day (H-a month). So this is normal and she told me to not panic, hahaha.. 

Boyfriend is totally different from me, he believes 'till the day comes, everything will be good and well prepared. Hence, slow down and no worries. LOL! We're a two very different personalities.

Let's pray and hope that everything will really be good and well prepared <3
I am a happy bride to be =]

Monday, 8 June 2015

Completed Marriage Preparation Course

If we plan to get married in a Catholic church, then this Marriage Preparation Course is a must. Or we call it KPP (Kursus Persiapan Perkawinan) in Indonesia. Marriage preparation course is designed to nourish the love relationship we share as a couple. Marriage is a serious and sacred commitment where two persons make a solemn commitment to be totally for the other. Therefore, it deserves the most careful attention and preparation. The Church wants to assist us in preparing for our life-long marriage. This is actually the purpose of this course.

The course was led by some married couples, covers a variety of topics including communication, ups and downs in marriage, how to maintain a marriage, sacrament of marriage, conflict resolution, intimacy and sexuality in marriage, financial, etc. It was a 3 days course, started from Friday, Saturday and Sunday (29th, 30th and 31th May 2015).

In every topic, we were always reminded by the speaker that:
"Marriage in the Catholic church is indissoluble and life-long. It is monogamous and based on love".
When two people marry, they form an unbreakable bond. The Church does not recognize a civil divorce because marriage cannot be dissolved, unless by death. So the wedding vow that stated "till death do us apart" is very serious.
"Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one'? So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder" (Mt 19:4-6).
I found a very good article about indissolubility marriage, click HERE. This course also serves as a warning, if we really want to be married with this person?

Marriage also has its ups and downs. We were also reminded that if our marriage encounter some problems or conflicts, it is best if we can solve the conflict by ourselves, two of us. But if we really need a third party advice or we need someone to talk to, then we should come to the church, because the church has family counselor. It is very NOT RECOMMENDED to talk to our friends (moreover if that friend of our is in opposite sex).
Because sometimes our friend could be poisonous and that could ruin our marriage forever.
I am so thankful to be able to participate in this course, this course has given me many valuable lessons. In the end of this course, we got the certificate and with this certificate we can continue to the next step of preparing our marriage :)

Our certificates! yeay~

Tuesday, 2 June 2015

I am not not Happy and I am not Happy too

It has been 2 years and 2 months since I joined the company which I'm working for currently. What I feel is ... ummm.. I'm quite tired.. not physically, but mentally. My brain keep saying "no, I don't want to be here any longer". It's not that I'm not happy, I'm just a little bit frustrated. Well, I'm not not happy and I'm not happy too.. That's frustrating, right? -_-

I've listed some reasons in my previous post (click here) why I am not feeling comfortable to work and live around here. I think I'm gonna give an update regarding those reasons. Hahaha.. In fact, last year we've made a decision about going back to our hometown (Batam) for good. But thanks to boyfriend's super good persuasive uncle whom is our boss, we decided to stay for the time being maybe for a few more years. He said our decision is too sudden for him without any discussion with him, so he requested us to reconsider and in the mean time, he would make changes to the situation. So OKAY, we're staying. This dialog happened in around September/October of year 2014. Until today, it has been more than half year. The question is, are there any changes which can really change our mind?

NO. The answer is NO. So I think I can't stay for that "few more years" :(

1. HOT
I don't understand why, but this place is really hot. Maybe because there is no high building here, so nothing can help to block the sunlight, and no trees as well. For one and half year we've survived without Air Conditioner (AC), we're best friend with standing fan. lol.
In case you don't understand what I mean by standing fan, this is standing fan :p

After that, our boss finally installed air conditioner at our office, but our dorm still doesn't has AC (yup, we are staying in the company's dorm). And it's really really hot, moreover in the daytime where the sun shine brightly. OMG! Our room feel like free sauna. It's really not comfortable. Almost everyday I ended up being bad mood because of this. Imagine, you want a good rest, but the room temperature is very hot, to the point that makes you want to take a shower for every hour. Sometimes on Sunday, I just wanted to lay on my bed, being lazy for the whole day.. But I can't do it, because it's really hot.

The surrounding area is not clean and not healthy. Clean water is very hard to get. We only use clean water for shower. For the rest, such as washing the dishes, laundry, etc, we don't use clean water. The water here (from the well) is in yellow color, not vivid yellow, it's clear, but yellowish. And it also feel a bit oily. And sometimes got small worm in it (oh, no!). Local people here still do their laundry at the river, uuhm, it's not river, it's kind of a big canal, but they call it "river". The water in that canal is in MILO color and you can see many many trash pile inside. They not only do their laundry there, but also take a bath, brush their teeth and ALSO POOP there ~_~"
It looks kinda like this, more or less >.<

By the meaning of "not clean", it's also "not healthy". Many locals had suffer several kind of disease. In my 2 years of staying, I've heard many times that somebody in the neighborhood is dead because of some acute disease. And most of them were still young (around 30-40+ years old). The latest was a disease called Leprosy (click here if you're curious what is leprosy). I am pretty sure that tuberculosis is also spread over the surrounding. It's just that the locals here don't really care about their health or they don't have the knowledge about health, so they never do medical check or things like that. Can't blame them, this is a very suburb area and also very low on economy :( When they realized that they are sick, it's already too late. I've heard some died from kidney failure, they don't have the money to do dialysis or it's already too late. Well, I don't want to live in this kind of environment. I'm not a doctor, I don't know exactly how to take care of myself and boyfriend for not infected by such disease.

Everyday I always stress about "what am I gonna eat for today?" ... There's a nanny who cook for us in the dorm, most of her cooking is javanese cuisine and we kinda sick of it >.< Thus we several times bought lunch from a food stall around here (people call it as "warung" here) and boyfriend got diarrhea after that, lol. Well, maybe our antibody is not as strong as other people, so we often got sick. But it's really not clean. Then I started to learn cooking and sometimes I cooked myself. And do you believe that ALMOST every day we had instant noodle for breakfast? yup, because it's just so hard to find a delicious and CLEAN food around here. At least, instant noodle didn't give us diarrhea although maybe it will give us cancer in years ahead. THAT'S ONE OF THE REASON I'M SAYING THAT I DON'T WANT TO STAY HERE ANY LONGER. Here is totally different with Jakarta. At Jakarta, you still can find a decent breakfast, lunch and dinner, but it's really hard at here. Clean water are easy to find in Jakarta, restaurant and cafe are everywhere, also has public transportation, etc which we can't find here.

I don't really have social life since I moved here. Lunch and dinner with friends, hanging out on weekend, things like that, I don't have it. My only friend is my boyfriend.. Romantic? No, you would never want this. When you work in a city, all you see and most of the people you meet are those who are capable and you can learn a lot from them. At here is the vice versa. None of the people here graduated from university and none of them can be an example for me. People here have low economy, low education, low levels of health, everything is low. I am not exaggerated or humiliate them, but this is the ugly truth. What's worse is I feel that there's no improvement on myself even after 2 years staying here.

Please imagine, checking the plumbing and trash bins also one of your responsibility and everything in the dorm also your responsibility, including the needs of those expatriates. Every small things are in your concern. Boyfriend also do almost everything here, from purchasing to production, and every little things WHICH ARE NOT mentioned in the job desk, lol. If something happened, they will look for boyfriend or me, even at night, on Sunday or holiday. We are working 7 days and 24 hours. Short of human resources is the main reason to this situation. Everyday I come to office with a very hard feeling (yes, now we have office after 1,5 years staying in a very small and hot room). And also there are so many things which are done not by procedure or not by how it should be.. It gave me headache and I'm always become badmood because of it. It's too many irregularities. hahaha.. I don't want to talk much about this, because this feels like I'm spreading bad words about the company >.<

There are expatriates here whom I dislike very much. He is very very selfish, only think about himself and don't care other's opinion. He does not appreciate people's opinion, everything must be done in his way and he works like a ROBOT and everybody is his minions!

Besides of what I've mentioned above, there are also some other reasons which I really can't mention here one by one. If I did, this post will be a very very very very long post. sigh! I hope I can do that on my next post~

Overall, all I mentioned above are dissatisfaction and disappointment. I am not saying that I regret, no, I never feel regret of my choice. It's just this is far worse than my expectation. And I can't stand any of this anymore.. But there is ONE thing that make me feel this is all worth it.. it's my boyfriend, I can stay by his side and going through every thick and thin together, this makes me happy =] He said, this will be the most extreme situation that we ever faced, I mean in this kind of place and so on. In the future, everything will be a lot easier (let's hope so).